There are two women in my life right now who are single by chance, but mothers by choice. Both of them decided it was time to stop waiting for the right guy, took matters into their own hands, and are now wonderful mothers to two beautiful baby girls.
They both have support around them from family and friends, but by and large, they’re riding this wave alone. And I have to say, I’m so in awe so of them. Because I have no idea how they are doing this alone.
It’s one of the biggest cliches in the world, and nothing has ever been more true: Parenting is the hardest thing in the world. I know there are single parents all over the place who do it alone, and do it well. And I have to say, hats off to you. Because doing it with two people, and only one baby, already makes me feel like I’m in over my head.
A friend recently told me about a parenting book she was reading, and it included a section called something like “Babies need Mummies and Mummies need Daddies.”
I totally get this concept.
My baby needs me. Don’t get me wrong – she needs her dad too, but she needs me. I look after her all day. I manage the food. I’m her mother. She could live without me, but that is hardly an ideal situation. Especially in these early moments of her life. She needs me.
But you know who I need? I need her daddy.
I need him to feed me vitamins.
I need him to make me breakfast on Sunday mornings.
I need him to push back the covers and say “I’ll get her, go back to sleep” at 6:30am. Or 6:00am. Or, like today, at 5:45am.
I need him to give me a break for a couple of hours in the morning so I can take a shower and brush my teeth and get myself organized.
I need him to give me a break in the evenings so I can collect all my thoughts that have scattered throughout the day.
I need him to bathe her almost every day so I don’t feel responsible for everything.
I need him to give me a hug when she finally goes down after crying incessantly for an hour.
I need him to tell me I look beautiful even though my clothes don’t fit like they used to, my hair is always a mess, and the circles under my eyes have never been darker.
I need him to do all the big things and the little things that he does every day, that I appreciate so much, like organize the garage, take out the garbage and keep the humidifier running.
I need him to tell me I’m doing it right when I feel like I’m barely hanging on.
I need his support and his help and his love and his encouragement like I need oxygen right now.
I need him to know how much I love and appreciate him.
I don’t know what I’d do without her daddy.