Here’s the truth: Since Aug 13, 2001, I had only kissed one man. That’s over 6.5 years of only having ever kissed one man. And we haven’t been kissing lately.
It’s been a while. A long while.
And then it happened. In the early, early morning of March 30, 2008, I kissed another man.
It was a tease. So brief, that looking back, I wonder if I imagined it.
But I know I didn’t.
It was definitely a kiss. Quick, simple, but a kiss just the same. Two lips, quickly holding on to and then letting go of two other lips.
And now, it’s all I can think about. And the best way I can explain it is this:
Imagine if you haven’t had chocolate in a very long time. You remember how much you loved it, but then your favourite chocolate in the whole world, the chocolate you swore you would eat forever, gets discontinued. The only way to get that particular chocolate now is on the black market – it has to be underground and it comes at a very high price.
So you lay off chocolate. You do other things. You run, you read, you think about decorating your new apartment. But you always think about chocolate, and how you miss it.
And then one day, someone gives you a tiny piece of chocolate. It’s different chocolate than what used to be your favourite (but is now only available on the black market and has to be underground and comes at a high price), but it’s chocolate. And it’s not bad. Not bad at all.
And now, all you can think about is chocolate, and how you want it again. That chocolate you tasted, that was good. You wouldn’t mind that chocolate again. But at this point, any half-decent chocolate would do. Preferably, chocolate with nuts.
And this wasn’t just regular chocolate either. This chocolate had nuts (obviously), but it also had caramel (when he passed by me and softly touched my hair), and raisins (when he walked behind me again and ran his fingers lightly across my back). This chocolate melted in my mouth (when he stood next to me and slowly ran his fingers up and down my back) and left a sweet aftertaste (a gentle hug goodbye).
It was a sweet, tingling, mix of emotions that I haven’t felt in so long I wondered if they had become extinct and someone had forgotten to tell me. But apparently, they’re alive and kicking. And they’re back.
This could get messy. I could soon get very, very fat.